WHAT’S HAPPENING TO ME? IS IT TIME FOR PERIMENOPAUSE?

 

Middle age, menopause, those are years away right?!!! Weight gain, tiredness, irritability, no, they won’t happen to me!!!

But they do & they have! Last October I hit 48 & felt great, then almost immediately after my birthday I started having all sorts of strange symptoms that I now know I have to put down to perimenopause!!!

So, this is where women of a certain age either mope around for their lost youth or grab the bull by the horns & get on with it, right?!!

But it’s not always that clear cut is it?

No I’m not pining for my lost youth, yes of course I wish I had the same youthful figure & taut skin I had in my 20’s & 30’s but I’m also happy in my own skin & with the knowledge, confidence and experience I’ve gained over the years. No, it’s none of those things at all, ageing doesn’t worry me, I’m truth I’m a big believer that ageing is a privilege but, it’s the changes in ME that’s bothering me.

From as far back as I can remember I’ve always been super organised, ambitious, positive, energetic & extremely present in day to day life. Suddenly I’m exhausted all the time, feel like I’m on another planet & some days, I just can’t get myself going & the day disappears without having achieved anything. This being so against the grain of my personality I then end up completely frustrated and annoyed at myself thus putting me in a not so pleasant mood!!!! Again, something that frustrates me hugely!!!

So why do I suddenly feel like this? Is it normal? Am

I normal?

Of course the answer is YES, but it doesn’t make it any easier does it? For ladies that are going through the same as me it’s easy to feel like you’ve lost your mojo for good, in your mind you’ve gone from attractive to unattractive in the blink of an eye, you’re carrying too much weight, you’ve aged, you’re invisible!!!

In my teens & twenties I was a professional dancer on cruise ships travelling around the Caribbean! I was young, carefree, fit, attractive, had a body to die for & I really was living my best life. Then in my late 20’s I married, had my 2 beautiful children and my figure almost went back to how it had been pre pregnancies! Throughout my 30’s a couple of pounds crept on but nothing too drastic and, as my 40th approached I was adamant I wasn’t going to be fat and forty, I was going to be 40 and fabulous!!!

Hitting 40 was actually fine but then as the mid 40’s approached a few more pounds kept creeping on.

Fast forward to age49, I’m certainly not big but I’m not the weight I want to be despite working out and having a very healthy diet 95% of the time. It’s just so hard to shift the pounds, the same half stone seems to keep coming off and going straight back on again each month and I know most of my friends can relate to this. It’s so frustrating, especially when you don’t feel nice in anything you wear anymore.

Unfortunately perimenopause doesn’t stop there…. and last year I fully experienced this. 

Irritability (my poor husband couldn’t do anything right) itchy skin, exhaustion, hair thinning, weight gain, slightly lower mood, insomnia, hot flashes, feeling bloated, anxiety, restlessness yes I’ve had them all even though, at the moment, my periods are still as regular as clockwork. All of these I expected to happen and can cope with but it was the feeling of being constantly a bit ‘out of sorts’ and ‘not quite in the room’ a lot of the time that bothered me the most. I didn’t feel ill, I didn’t feel depressed, I didn’t feel sad but I also didn’t feel happy, I just didn’t know how I feel and I didn’t always feel present. Quite frankly I didn’t feel like me & I wanted me back. Some call it brain fog but I never felt like that, I was still on top of my job, had no problem getting through my to do list etc etc but in everything I did, both work, home & leisure I just felt like I was going through the motions.

Fast forward 12 months & I’m definitely in a different place and feeling much better & much more present.

A few months ago, as many women did, I watched Davina McCall’s fabulous documentaries on peri menopause & HRT. She inspired me to go to see my GP immediately. Unlike many women, I was extremely lucky that my Dr is very knowledgeable about perimenopause & the menopause and she immediately listened & took my symptoms & questions very seriously with empathy and compassion. Sadly not all GP’s are trained in menopause symptoms & treatment which has proved to be a problem for many women.

I’d personally studied the pro’s & cons of HRT myself and she advised me to try it. I opted for the Gel & oestrogen tablet combination but there are other options available with the patch or spray which may suit different women.

I can’t say I felt an immediate change, on the contrary, at first I wasn’t sure what the point was. But, I persevered and gradually I started to feel a little less irritable, my itchy skin subsided & I’ve never experienced a hot flush. It’s not magic & doesn’t erase all symptoms, I can still get irritable – just not quite as much, I can still have sleepless night – just quite as often.
But for now it’s an improvement on many things & I’ll be continuing with the medication for the foreseeable future.

What are your experiences & how is Perimenopause affecting you? I’d love to hear your stories.

Take care

Love Zoe x